Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
