Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
