I feel great
I just peed on a car
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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