eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize