I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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