Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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