I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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