have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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