well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
