I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
