We're facebook friends in real life
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
