this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
