im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we're making bets on your personal life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
