wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
