I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
