He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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