my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
