When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
