I have demons in me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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