I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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