You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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