Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize