she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
