PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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