Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
