Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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