I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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