the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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