After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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