I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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