She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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