what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
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And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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