I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
