I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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