That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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