ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
