I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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