that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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