I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
