after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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