i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
