I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
sex in a hospital.. check
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize