I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
