You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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