so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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