Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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