It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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