It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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