Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
