I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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