I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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