Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
