I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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