Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I fill condoms, not promises.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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