he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize