I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
