Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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