You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
