Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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