But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
