Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
