i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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