1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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