if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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