Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
